Don’t let miscommunication get in the way of bonding with your roommate’s pet. Talk things out; chances are your roommate didn’t know the pet’s behavior was bothering you.
“Dear Zoe,
My roommate has a puppy. He is always running around when I have friends over and jumps on the furniture. How do I deal?”
–Dog Tired
Dear Dog Tired,
Someone told me last week that pets are like kids, but pets are cuter. Many students find that taking care of a fuzzy friend is a great launching point to taking care of other people.
All pets require a different level of discipline and attention. Fish need food and occasionally a clean bowl. Cats could really care less what you do as long as the litter box is changed. Dogs in particular require a certain amount of responsibility. They need to go on walks, be let outside and fed.
It is normal to feel confused about what role you play regarding a pet that lives with you but is not yours. Are you a silent observer or a sort of pet step-parent?
I love to compare roommate relationships to marriage. Think of pets as training for kids. If you can keep a dog happy and healthy, maybe you and your partner are ready to raise a small person. You and your roommate are living and engaging in a contract together, and things are bound to come up that both of you do not see eye-to-eye on.
Pets and later in life kids are different than arguments about doing the dishes or picking up the socks on the floor because a life is directly affected by your decisions. As Uncle Ben told Peter Parker, “with great power comes great responsibility.” Showing concern is a sign you care and want to make a smart, informed decision.
Communication cannot be stressed enough in roommate relationships. It is easy to fall into a pattern where roommate interaction is at a minimum. He or she is on a different schedule than you and often it is hard to find the time and the courage to have an honest chat. Tell your roommate what behavior the dog is doing that bugs you and why. Chances are high that your roommate did not know that it bugs you when the puppy jumps on your friends.
Everyone has a different discipline style. Some dog owners are the liberals who let their dog run free, roam around the house at will and bark until their voices are sore. Others are the helicopter dog owners who have set walk times, only allow their dogs in certain places in the house and will swoop into action at the first sign of a bark. Find out how your roommate wants to raise the dog and work from there. Be clear cut when telling your roommate your comfort level. If you cannot stand the sight of dog hair on the couch discuss it
Try to keep in mind that raising a dog is a process. Lassie did not grow up overnight. Your roommate has many of the same challenges as you, managing school work, a job, a significant other and to top it all off a dog. No one wants a barking dog to keep them up at night or to walk into a fresh yellow puddle but remember to give your roommate the benefit of the doubt.
