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Is Internet addiction solvable?

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Internet addiction a concern for you? Don’t worry, you are not alone.

Hello. My name is Allison, and I am an Internet addict. They say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. So, here I am admitting I have a serious problem. But the question is what to do about it?

First there is my Twitter account. I cannot imagine my life without a constant stream of minute-to-minute updates from all 540 of my closest friends and favorite celebrities. Sepia-filtered pictures of food, play-by-play updates from games I am already watching live on TV… Frankly, I would be completely out of the loop without Twitter, and I just cannot stand for that.

For a while I considered ousting my Pinterest, but then I thought, how on earth am I going to have something clever to say without the hilarious quotes I find on there? How will I know what trendy food I should be eating or clothes I should be buying? I would be a dull, hungry, out of style wreck without my Pinterest to tell me what to do, so, for my own good, Pinterest must also stay.

Everyone has a Facebook now, so it would be impractical and unwise not have one as well, right? Think of all the important things I would not hear about. How would I know whom to vote for this fall without the fun political opinions telling me what to do? I do not know where I would find out which friend I needed to call and console without cryptic angry posts directed at no one in particular.

It seems that despite my best efforts to break my addiction to the Internet, I have no choice but to maintain my Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest accounts. After examining my dependence on my three favorite Internet pages, it is clear that I cannot live without any of them. In all actuality, this decision is for my own good, as well as the good of those around me. I should just accept the fact that I shall live forevermore as an Internet addict, because without it, I would be a socially inept, uncool mess of a person.

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