I have recently diagnosed myself, using the Internet and my own hypochondriac tendencies, with ADD. I realize that we all have it in some capacity or other, but my recent discovery about my inability to sit still came as quite a shock, though I must say, it did explain a lot.
For one, it explains why I love my job so much. I hang out with tiny humans whose attention span is as short as mine. They cannot stay focused on anything for more than five minutes, which is cool with me because I am probably getting bored too. I also do not mind talking to them because I can follow their random and sporadic thought processes with absolute clarity because wow that is a weird looking cloud, I wish I had a cookie right now, can we read a book please?
My fidgeting, mental and physical, is also explained. I fidget so much during class that the first time I was in a class with wheelie chairs was without a doubt the most glorious day of my life. Being able to swish back and forth for 50 minutes is the best thing ever, though I do feel bad for those who sit behind me. I also tend to play on the Internet the whole time. Granted, it is not anything that requires actual thinking, just mindless stuff to look at while listening to the teacher. It looks like I am not listening, but trust me, I retain way more information when doing something mindless while listening than when left with just my own thoughts.
It also explains why it takes me so long to do my homework. I get hungry and have to go eat something. Then someone asks me to go to Wal Mart with them. And then, three hours later I am home watching “The Walking Dead,” and my homework is but a distant memory.
So, while I realize that I have never been officially diagnosed with ADD, I must say that the evidence that supports this diagnosis is so overwhelming that I sincerely doubt I am wrong.
