Let’s begin with a question: How do you feel about your body? Do you think you’re too fat? Too thin? Too short? Too tall? Not muscular enough? Maybe there are things about your general look you wish you could change, such as your nose or your cheekbones?
Unfortunately, you are not alone if you wish you could change how you look. Many people hold a poor body image, which has inspired Body Image Awareness Month. Part of Body Image Awareness Month is National Eating Disorder Awareness Week, which is happening right now.
According to activeminds.org, the goal of NEDA is to educate participants about the warning signs and treatment options for eating disorders as well as the language and behaviors that friends and family can adopt to create an effective support network.
Most of us either know someone with an eating disorder or have one ourselves. Nationaleatingdisorders.org defines three types of eating disorders —anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa and binge eating disorder. Eating disorders overwhelmingly affect more women than men; however both genders can be afflicted.
Anorexia, which in my experience has been the most discussed, affects about one percent of the population according to nationaleatingdisorders.org. About 90 percent are female. Bulimia, which seems to be the second most publicized, affects about 2 percent of the population, and 80 percent are female.
I do not have anorexia or bulimia. However, as a woman I too am bombarded with the beautiful models in magazines and on TV. We are told that these women are the ideal of beauty. Perfection is to be 5’9” and to wear a size two. And if any of you have watched “America’s Next Top Model,” you know this to be true. Remember back in Cycle 4 when contestant Keenyah Hill began to gain a little weight? Everyone was talking about how big she was, when in fact she was still a very thin girl.
For those not familiar with these serious conditions, anorexia is characterized by self-starvation, while bulimia is characterized by a series of binging and purging. Both can be life-threatening.
And then there is the final eating disorder: binge eating. One to five percent of the population has binge eating disorder, 60 percent of those individuals being women. I am a statistic: I have binge eating disorder. In the spirit of the week I have decided to bare my soul to you.
Binge eating disorder has slightly more victims than anorexia and bulimia, yet it seems to be less prevalent in the media. This eating disorder affects significantly more men than anorexia and bulimia. This eating disorder is characterized by bouts of binging, but not purging (or doing any other counteractive activity). Binge eating does not directly affect mortality, however it does have long-term health consequences such as high blood pressure that could lead to other health risks.
In my biased opinion, binge eating is the most embarrassing of the disorders. Probably because it is mine and because it is the one that ‘does the opposite of making me thin.’ I do not wish to have any eating disorder, but sometimes I wish that I could have a different one. It feels like if I at least rejected food, I would better fit into societal norms. Instead, I have moments of compulsivity where I cannot stop eating. I want to stop, I really do. But I can’t. It is a compulsion for me. I have had shameful moments where I have brought home a box of Oreo’s, and before I was able to do anything about it, I had consumed half the box or more. Of course, I realize that these feelings are completely wrong.
Do I want to be overweight? Of course not. Am I eating because I just love food? No. I always say I have a love/hate relationship with it. I enjoy it as much as the average person. And when I am not binge eating, I eat like a normal person. In fact, I know a lot of really thin people who can eat a lot more than I can on a regular day! But I am not the one wearing a size two, go figure. Sometimes I eat less because I don’t want people to think “oh look, the fat girl is eating.” But most of the time it is because that is all I want. Until my next binge-fest comes along.
So what is the moral of the story? First of all, do not judge other people based on what they look like. Some might look at someone like myself and assume that I just really love food, which is not true. And some might look at a person who is really thin and think that her life must be super easy because she is skinny and beautiful, but she might think quite the opposite about herself.
But here is the real takeaway: we are ALL beautiful. It doesn’t matter how we look. I am not really aware of this myself all the time either, but it is important to keep in mind. What is really important is who you are and what is in your heart and your head. You shouldn’t feel bad for being who you are.
