This week’s article spotlights the current mass media coverage of a man who has half a brain and the fashion sense of a two-cent hooker. That’s right, Dennis Rodman really grinds my gears. If you haven’t heard by now, the retired NBA basketball star and NBA Hall of Famer just got back from a two-day romp in the lovely communist country, North Korea, and with its colorful dictator, Kim Jong-Un. Um, that sounds delightful, it really does, especially now that President Obama has just officially declared the United States as a “sworn enemy of North Korea,” but I can see how the ex-Chicago Bulls superstar was serving his country and performing his patriotic duty. The Huffington Post reported Rodman saying of the “humble” dictator that, “He’s proud, his country likes him – not like him, love him, love him. Guess what, I love him. The guy’s really awesome.”
Yes, just as awesome as Rodman’s 1997 action film “Double Team,” co-starring Jean Claude Van-Damme and Mickey Rourke. This visit to North Korea has Rodman simply raving about Kim Jong-Un and his leadership skills. He is just full with ideas of how the human rights’ oppressor and President Obama can reach a mutual peace sparing millions of lives and an all-out nuclear war.
Rodman was quoted by the Huffington Post as saying, “He wants Obama to do one thing: Call him. He said, ‘If you can, Dennis, I don’t want to do war. I don’t want to do war.’ He said that to me.” Assuming the role of ambassador, Rodman then suggested one way to connect with the honest-and-open communist leader, “[Kim] loves basketball. And I said the same thing. I said, ‘Obama loves basketball.’ Let’s start there.”
Hopefully by this time next week Obama and Kim will engage in a friendly game of “Horse.” Obama will kindly let Kim win, in hopes Kim will be overwhelmed with graciousness and will allow the people of his country to enjoy basic human rights and freedoms. Maybe Kim will also allow the people of North Korea to eat, and then maybe he will release some of the 200,000 prisoners he keeps in labor camps. But alas, that’s probably no more than wishful thinking.
Rodman was told of the less than horrible living conditions the people of North Korea suffer with; the 3.5 million people who have died of starvation, the 10 percent of the population that is severely malnourished, and the hundreds of thousands of people wrongfully imprisoned. His response, according to The Huffington Post was, “I’m going to go back one day and find out more of what’s really going on.” If anybody can rectify this bleak foreign affair, Dennis Rodman can.
I think it’s safe to say Mr. Rodman has joined the ranks of outstanding American citizens such as Jane Fonda and Cat Stevens. That is to say, he has become a traitor to American culture and our seemingly democratic government. Rodman has also proved that dying your hair 15 different neon colors in one week actually can be detrimental to cognitive functioning. The colors must have seeped through his skull and poked tiny neon-colored holes all throughout his brain, making communism all sunshine and rainbows. Hopefully Michael Jordan stops hooking him up with a discount on Fruit of the Loom products now. In retrospect, this new development in Rodman’s stardom is really good for Kobe Bryant. Why? Because this insanely ridiculous move to mend the estranged relationship between the democratic United States and communist North Korea, has officially put Bryant in the number two spot for most hated NBA player of all time.
