The last month of the semester, known as hell month, can be stressful with many projects, tests and presentations due at the same time.
“Holy crap I better teach these idiots something!”
It seems that this time of year, this sentiment rings through the minds of all our professors. Past midterms — and finals creeping ever closer — professors begin to realize that they have not imparted upon us the infinite wisdom they optimistically intended to 10 weeks ago. Between all of the paper writing, quizzing and generally sweaty sense of panic, it is not surprising that students and professors are eager to get the hell out of here and be done with the semester.
The real question then is not why they do this, but rather how to get your work done in these stressful conditions.
First off, do not panic. If you have a solid grade at this point, your failure is highly unlikely. Fight the urge to storm into your professor’s office demanding a recount of your poor grade on an assignment they gave you a day to do. Recounts are not becoming on politicians and certainly not on you, so just save yourself the embarrassment.
Do not stay up until 3 a.m. working on anything. I do not care what it is you are trying to do, nothing good happens after midnight. This applies to both drinking and studying. Nothing productive, helpful or useful happens after midnight, and I can say with certainty that you are better off sleeping and resting your poor overworked brain.
Lastly, do not drink excessive amounts of caffeine to compensate for your poor choices the night before. Contrary to what you might believe, teachers can tell when you have consumed too much caffeine and try to write a paper or complete an assignment. Rather than sounding witty and charming like Tina Fey or Stephen Colbert, you sound like a druggie who put cocaine in your coffee and then chased it with a Red Bull. This is just bad news for you and makes you look insane to your professor.
It is frustrating trying to finish the semester when you feel like the world is pitted against you. However, if you listen to my advice, I can promise that you will complete the semester with minimal judgment from your professors and no caffeine or hard drug addiction.
