Usually, I try to keep my columns focused on economic and political issues that affect us as students. Today, I shall make an exception and talk about love and sex. That’s right ladies and gentlemen. Let’s talk about the thing most of us are secretly the most concerned about here at UW.
And before you think this is some kind of “Reverse Cowgirl” column revival: It is not.
I will talk about a word that’s been irking me more than the word “moist” grosses out women. Let’s talk about “friendzoning.”
Lately it has been bugging me how much the term comes up. In conversations, on social media sites, in movies…somehow it has become a trendy way to refer to a guy that asks out a close female friend of his and gets shot down. I realize that this most likely happens for non-heterosexual couples as well, but they don’t continuously whine about it.
After getting shot down, guys seem to think they were unfairly treated, because they are “good guys,” who know how to “treat a woman” and would be so much better for the girl, since she keeps dating “assholes.” As a man, who has many close female friends, I am absolutely offended by this mentality.
Do you guys seriously expect some kind of medal for treating a woman respectfully? Let me put it this way: Just because you treat her well, does not mean that she should give you free access to her vagina. Calm your hormones and stop ruining your friendships just because you are horny. It is not a woman’s fault that you are worse at scoring than Peyton Manning during the Super Bowl.
My suggestion for people in this situation is fairly simple. Gals, if a guy that you only like as a friend asks you out, then do not feel pressured to say yes. I’m not going to tell you how to lead your life, just that I agree that you should not feel obligated to anything.
Just because your friends are the ones you are most comfortable with doesn’t mean they are the ones that you should be dating. Part of the point of dating is throwing yourself off of the figurative ledge and finding a connection with a would-be stranger. Remember that just because the movies show friends falling madly in love doesn’t mean that real life is anything like that outside the Hollywood scope.
Guys, stop being so darn afraid of asking women out and don’t try and get with a woman through the friendzone. Grow some cojones and ask out a stranger you just met at an event, intramural or bar. You would be surprised how many women would say yes just because a guy had the courage to ask her on a date. People are not attracted to jerk—they are attracted to confidence. “Assholes” tend to be the ones with the unabashedly copious amounts of said confidence—don’t be that guy.
The final thing is that good guys do not finish last, except by themselves in front of a computer. Be a man. Be respectful and confident in yourself. And for goodness’ sake, eat a snickers and stop being so freaking whiny about a little rejection.
