It’s in the negative negatives outside, you want to cuddle and not be alone in your existence as a college student covered with more homework than blankets to keep you warm. I get it.
As 2013 wrapped up, I noticed more and more people getting engaged and married and having kids. Apparently it’s hip. It’s cool, and you get to relish in the knowledge that you will never again be alone. So eff it. YOLO. YOMO? You only marry once! If you ignore the facts that the divorce rate for young couples is more than twice the national average…
I see these Facebook statuses about my friends joining in holy matrimony and immediately a wave of confusion mixed with subtle anxiety passes over me. Should I be thinking about getting married? Or a serious relationship with someone other than my dog?
Divorce is no longer a staple in the average American midlife crisis along with those shiny sports cars and unnecessary boats, but rather something that TEEN PEOPLE Magazine should probably be covering. I’m picturing a how-to column on budgeting your prom and your wedding in the same year advertised on the cover. Perhaps even a prom dress that is a wedding dress too. What will they think of next?
Here’s what the majority of those young couples tying the knot have in common. Inexperience in travel, relationships, risks, higher education, adventure, solitude, living on the brink of poverty, etc. The list goes on and on, all things boiling down to inexperience.
I can’t help but see some of these youthful unions as a cop out. Instead of dealing with life’s ups and downs on their own, they hide behind their significant other and use the marriage as a safety blanket. Because things are less scary if you aren’t the only one impacted. What they fail to see is that living alone and feeling the impacts of life’s ups and downs is a big part of growing up. Living off of Ramen for a few weeks while trying desperately to pass all your classes and being thrilled at the prospect of adding Taco Bell hot sauce to said Ramen is a serious part of that for many, and it’s a richer experience if you are alone.
The thing that many seem to overlook is; if your love is truly eternal, what is the rush? If it is real, that person will continue to be committed to you, without the bonds of marriage. Use that relationship to grow together, no rings attached.
Being single is the best thing you can do for yourself in your early twenties, figure out who you are on your own, and learn to love yourself. Then will the time to add someone else to the complicated equation that is your life be at hand.
