Men usually find themselves to be smooth, charming and intelligent when it comes to the ladies. Unfortunately, they’re not. There are a few—actually quite a few—things that men need to become more thoroughly educated on. Women usually find themselves rolling their eyes at the comments of men and thinking for the 100th time that they’re all the same. Here are a few suggestions to help you guys out on things you think you know about women . . .but really don’t. Whether it pertains to pick up lines or our scattered emotions, these hints will point you in the direction of looking less like an asshole.
1. PMS = Excuse
Guys seem to have this mythical misconception that we women use our period as an excuse to get out of everything. I have heard countless, I repeat, COUNTLESS guys complain about the fact that women get a “get out of jail free card” during that time of month. These same guys complain about how we constantly bitch about everything and that PMS is only a psychological frame of mind. Okay, there is no pretty way to say this next part: When you are bleeding for days from your womb, then you have a right to complain. PMS is a real thing, and the pain that comes with it is also very real. And do not get me started on the “kick-in-the-balls” analogy.
2. Only Sluts Like Sex
This may come as a surprise to you, but women like sex just as much as men do (you may take a moment to gasp in shock). That is, unless we are getting poked and prodded in very uncomfortable, unsexy and awkward ways of course. Why is there such a strong stigma against women having casual sex, or one-night stands, and enjoying it? Women are usually placed into two categories in the eyes of a man. Either she is a Madonna (a representation of Mary, not the pop singer) or she is a whore, which is self-explanatory. Since when have there been only two types of women? Men want to marry a lady in public and a lady in the bedroom; however, once they commit to this they lose the sense of excitement his wife first gave him as a “Madonna.” This is absolute bullsh*t, women are neither carbon copies of the “Madonna” nor the “Whore.” We can be ladies and like to have casual sex at the same time—mind boggling I know. If you ask me, it is more of a male sexual dysfunction than a social stigma. Just ask Dr. Freud.
3. Bawl Bags
Yes, women have feelings and yes, we choose to express them. But that does not mean that is all we do. We are not just walking tear ducts ready to burst at any moment—we do hold some self-control. Contrary to popular belief, we can also keep it together during a rom-com (check number six). Yes, we do have unreal amounts of estrogen flowing through our veins, but that does not mean we automatically turn into uncontrollable sprinkler systems every time we see a wide-eyed toddler.
4. Bad Boys
The widely known saying “girls only like bad boys” goes hand-in-hand with “good guys finish last.” Here comes the bullsh*t card, again. Most of the time, girls gravitate towards bad guys because they are simply more interesting than the fedora-clad losers, who inevitably get friend-zoned. The reason why we divert away from these “good guys” is simple: They. Are. Boring. You need to step up your game and play harder to get at times. No one—guys included—is interested in a significant other, who just kisses their asses and agrees with everything they say. So if you are one of the “good guys” that get friend-zoned, just think about altering your approach. And for the love of God, ditch that fedora.
5. #arrogant
I realize that some of you may take this a bit hard, but gentleman, our worlds do not revolve around you. For you Facebook stalkers and Twitter junkies out there, please understand that not every post is about you. Women have lives outside of our romantic endeavors (who would have thought) and those preconceived notions men have about women pining over some “prince charming” all day are just ignorantly false. Our “I miss you posts” probably do not pertain to the fact that you failed to text back. Our goldfish may have died. We could be reminiscing over Ghirardelli’s peppermint bark that only comes out once a year (Winter!). Whatever the case is, stop revolving our worlds around yourselves. We don’t.
6. Rom-Coms Are All We Watch
Hilariously enough, women do not always flock to premiers of rom-coms like seagulls to a lone French fry. We actually have a variety of tastes when it comes to films. A run of the mill rom-com is great once and a while, but sometimes we want to indulge in the magnificent blood shed of “300” or the classic tale of “Psycho.” This assumption about our singular tastes is like assuming men only watch action movies. But for some reason, the romantic comedy stereotype attached to women is harder to shake. Nobody would eat the same food every day. Once in a while, rom-coms just do not cut it and we need a little brutality, suspense, action, etc.
7. Attention Whores
“Girls’ Night Out” is usually thought of as an event where a group of ladies dress in short dresses, drink fruity drinks and laugh loudly to gain the attention of any men within earshot. Granted, there are some nights where women go out to get laid (re-read number 2, please); however, we are not testosterone pumping buffoons always on the lookout for the next piece of ass. Sometimes we like to dress up and go out with the girls just for fun. The fact of the matter is when a woman dresses up—regardless of the occasion—her self-esteem comes racing out of its potato chip laden bed and puts on its Miss America smile. We like to feel pretty and we like to hang out with our lady friends. It really is that simple. Believe it or not, but often men have nothing to do with us wanting to feel good about ourselves. Hence, cut the lame pick up lines and leave us to our mojitos and girl talk.
8. Powerful Women Are Bitchy
Women can never win in this situation. If we are sensitive in our position of power, then we are perceived as the “typical woman,” a.k.a. weak. But, if we exhibit a professional attitude, we are automatically labeled as a “bitch.” Why is it so hard to believe that women can act in a professional manner, while dealing with professional issues? We should not have to give second chances to those who slack off and we surely do not need to bring cookies to business meetings. We are not being bitches—we are just doing our job.
9. Nice = Flirty
One of the most annoying things a man can do is assume a girl is flirting when she is just being friendly. I cannot give enough examples of when I was genuinely nice to a guy and I ended up getting a phone number on a napkin. I understand that women can be vague about their intentions, but just because we smile at you, or make eye contact, does not mean we are interested. It is hard for a lot of people to understand that women can have men as friends. Things like “sexual tension” are usually brought up. Even though the male side would more than likely sleep with their lady friends if they had the chance, women genuinely like a bit of male company to keep their lives interesting. Testosterone-driven beings are sometimes fun to hang out with. It’s that simple. So, please stop projecting your sexual fantasies on us, just because we happened to smile your way.
