See, this is where I would start things by quoting “We Didn’t Start the Fire,” a seemingly non-stop series of pop-culture references. But seeing as I only know the “we didn’t start the fire” part I will just go the old-fashion way: this is a round-up of the decade (so far) and nothing else. Boring? Yes. Effective? Not really.
Anyway it has been a long and glorious five years into the new decade. I congratulate those of you who have survived thus far, being able to avoid Swine Flu, Ebola and staring into Michele Bachmann’s eyes for longer than two seconds. You are stronger than all who’ve fallen beside you…most likely waiting in line for “The Avengers.”
There is so much to talk about: half of Obama’s first term and most of his second; the rise of Marvel; war n’ such; the development of some kind of media app for everything; and the dawn of Angry Birds as the go-to app to its dusk as the one you download to fill up space.
But the idea isn’t to just make a checklist of everything we’ve done over the last five years. Though that is way more fun than I could possibly fathom, the real idea is to ask, “How are we doing?”
Some may say we are in a golden age of innovation and communication. Others (most likely in the South without acceptable dental work) may say we have become a detached society, and need to go back to good ol’ Merican routes of the Pony Express and Tuberculosis.
But the fact of the matter is that we are in fact doing fantastic. Healthcare is booming with millions registered who couldn’t before; we are out of the Middle-East (for the most part); the stock market is at an all-time high; the unemployment rate is down by half; Robert Downey Jr. is a god again; and even the homeless seem to have IPhones in order to find riddles to ask the people who cross their bridges.
Sure there has been war, and disease, and famine, and death, and injustice and I think someone stole my chicken nuggets from the fridge, but that’s all sad stuff. Who cares about that stuff when that ass Dale is beating you at Trivia Crack? Defend your honor.
Life may not have gotten better, but it has gotten easier to live. You can even get an app that will bring car services to you. No longer are the luxuries of mid-size van transportation limited to the likes of Lindsay Lohan and Dennis Rodman.
Plus we can access anything. The rise of Wikileaks and the actions of Ed Snowden and Bradley Manning, mixed with the portability of cell phones and web sharing, have made almost anything accessible. We are progressively stepping out of the dark and into the light. It’s a lot like the expansion of literacy in the 17th century…except with way more poo on the ground.
And that’s not regarding politics. Thanks to growing focus on technology and science it has now become cool to like things that would normally get you shoved in a locker. Discovery of the universe can be found on your phones and not just in some perverted old teacher’s classroom.
Even comic books are cool now. Marvel Studios (I’ll also throw a bone to you DC, but not you Sony, you and Spidey sit in your dunce corner.) with their consecutive hits have further established geek culture as a permanent fixture in the zeitgeist. It has never been cooler to love learning, playing video games and superheroes.
Fun stuff aside, the sharing of media has also raised awareness towards social issues like guns and race relations. The tragedy surrounding Trayvon Martin, Eric Garner and others would never have reached such broad attention. In doing so people around not only America, but also the world, have taken notice on the reality that racism still exists. To you, typical rednecks spitting chew into loose napkins, don’t say it doesn’t. The only thing separating Sean Hannity from an actual crazy person is that a crazy person simply throws feces; not spew them out every hole.
So yes I could talk about the entire cool, individual advances over the last few years, but that would take too long and I have a ballet recital to lie about going to. I have made my point: we are indeed in a golden age. We have greater and greater access to anything at the click of a button and as a result we are learning something new everyday and our awareness of the world is at an all-time high. But we do still need to talk about what to do with Justin Bieber. Another five years is way too long to think about.
