The other day I was talking to a friend of mine on the club tennis team. He told me that he had just joined a fraternity. Hearing that I felt so happy for him, because those years changed my life for the better.
My freshman year I was encouraged to attend rush by my mom and dad. Everybody in my family who attended college was a member of a fraternity or sorority. This awoke something in me, a sense of family pride.
Come the first meeting I met the 34 new members who were to be my pledge class, 34 new brothers. My timidity of being in a new place and not knowing anyone diminished.
During the meeting there was much talk about being a brother, being a leader, and helping out the campus and community. These were all the things I desired to do. I felt euphoric after that first meeting.
My floor mates assumed I was a binge drinker, and for lack of a better term, a douchebag, all for attending my weekly pledge classes, and hanging out with my new friends. It did not matter that I never had a sip of alcohol. The stigma was there.
In every college movie or TV show, there is a notorious “frat” scene where we behold men in tank tops, backwards hats and boat shoes pounding cheap beers, and over indulging in debauchery. Because of the stigma surrounding Hollywood frat scenes it wasn’t strange for people I barely knew to assess my character based off those dramatizations. I was not happy about it, but I understood it.
Being in the fraternity held me to standards that I as a young man did not set for myself. I was forced to interact with more people in the Laramie community, as well as on campus. My school spirit grew from attending sporting, and arts events that I would have in the past forgone to watch movies or play videogames.
To say we did not throw parties would be a lie. We had quite a lot of parties, and yes there was drinking. Yet our guests were always treated with respect. We would elect five members who would be sober during the party who would provide rides, break up fights, and make sure that everyone was safe.
Sadly my fraternity had retention problems, and faded away in my junior year. I was vice president when it happened. It was upsetting because of all the work my brothers and I put into the organization. We had a scholarship we would award to any student with impressive resumes, we had large fundraisers, and a strong sense of brotherhood, but in the sad way things happened we had to disband. Although disappointing, I still look back on my fraternity days with happiness.
I know that Greek life is not for everyone, and there will always be stigmas attached to it. Like any group that’s how it is. It’s easy to target, and make assumptions. It is true that some people within Greek life may be deserving of some of the labels that go around but I do think it’s juvenile to place a stigma on a group based off media perceptions and limited interaction.
Parties are a part of college life, they are events in which we meet others and form relationships. However it always seems like Greek parties come under scrutiny. I think this stems from the ease that is provided when targeting a specific group.
I am not going to say that there haven’t been travesties in Greek chapters. Never once during my pledging process was I forced or even peer pressured into doing anything demeaning or life threatening. Judge Greek life if you will, but the stereotypes do not line up with reality.
