The English language is not necessarily a beautiful language. It’s sort of blunt and crass, not elegant like French or Italian, which is like hearing vocal cursive. But what doesn’t make things better are all the horrid phrases you youngsters use to pollute the cesspool that is modern speech. You say it saves time or sounds cool, but most of the time you sound like a goat with no tongue as it tries to scream and bite its ear.
So without further ado, here are five of the phrases you need to stop saying now. Like at this very moment.
5.Thirsty:
Used to illustrate the fact you really want something, mostly sex. If you want sex, how about using your big kid words to impress a normal human person. But if you’re so “thirsty” that you have to use it to describe your childlike horniness how about I throw hot coffee in your face to help you out.
4.Turnt:
This one sounds like someone meant to say “turd” but sneezed halfway through.
3.Bae
Meant to replace “baby” but instead makes you sound like a mentally ill whale. Probably one meant to make things “faster” and “cute” but then sooooo much time is wasted on me asking you why you said that and why don’t you just say “baby.” What’s cuter than the word baby? Or even babies in general? You’re wasting time in something that was already perfect! You kids be crazy.
2.Basic:
You know what’s really basic? Using the word basic in any scenario ever. It’s a demeaning phrase horrible people use to make others feel plain, therefore making the user look at themselves like a beacon of fun and uniqueness. Oh yeah, real original to use a phrase millions of others are probably saying at the exact same time. You suck.
1.Slaying:
A phrase applied to the act of having sex as in “I’ve been slaying girls all weekend.” Now, I like to think most of the phrases on this list began simply out of coming up with cute/lame ways to say something that was already cute and/or lame. However, with this one, I can’t imagine anyone other than a murderous clown using it to describe their day. What psycho uses this seriously? If I were a cop and overheard someone say this I would assume they are continuing the works of Ted Bundy. It’s something mostly college-aged “men” say, but when I hear it I only hear boys who play too many video games…who want to eat your eyes. So watch out, ladies.
If you’re a person who has ever uttered these things un-ironically then please strike yourself repeatedly. In fact, why don’t you go ahead and do it even if you did say them ironically. These examples of slang need to evaporate into whatever purgatory frat boys and Monster energy drink gear go when they die. And no, “fetch” is still not going to happen. So stop trying to make it happen!
