Generally speaking, complaining about technology is one of the worst things a person can do. Our generation has created amazing, previously unimaginable technology–devices that are so simultaneously beautiful and functional that they transcend the limitations that separate us as humans. Yet, despite the magnificent nature of these dazzling creations, I have managed to come up with a few complaints regarding smartphones and you just get to sit there and read them. Here are my least favorite kinds of applications found on smart devices around the world.
As far as I know, having applications that cannot be deleted is a problem exclusive to Apple products. So, congratulations Android users. I guess you really do have something going for you. However, for iPhone users worldwide, this has been an ongoing issue. I mean has anyone ever even opened the Stocks app? I doubt it.
The problem with these programs is that they cater to a very specific demographic, be it stock brokers, Apple Watch owners or health fanatics. For everybody else, they do nothing but take up space. Sure, making Flappy Bird a mandatory app for iPhone users would be great for masochists, but it would prevent demographics like music lovers from downloading more songs and gamers from downloading more games.
Speaking of games, today, I set my iPhone on my old original Xbox because, I mean, what else am I supposed to do with a 14-year-old game console? While doing this, I realized something: Both of these devices can run games like Grand Theft Auto III and Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. The only difference is that there is absolutely no reason to play them on my iPhone! For sending texts or drawing pictures on Snapchat, touch screens work just fine. But, if you are playing a game that was made for anything other that a touch screen, you would be better off playing the game on the original console. Touch screen buttons and virtual thumbsticks are universally worthless.
However, some applications manage to be so pointless that they put virtual thumbsticks to shame. These are the apps that, if you traveled back in time and described them to the Founding Fathers, they would immediately tear up the Declaration of Independence and surrender to the British in an attempt to prevent these atrocities from ever being spawned.
Imagine being able to propose to someone using a low-resolution picture on your phone. There is an app for that. Imagine being able to throw your phone into air while having it time how long it takes to hit the ground. There is an app for that. Imagine being able to pop nauseating virtual zits. Ladies and gentlemen, there is an app for that.
Honestly, there have been some truly awe-inspiring technological accomplishments in the past few decades. But, for every Mars rover there are thousands of apps just like these. I simply hope that upsets you as much as it does me.
