Thomas Garvie
tgarvie@uwyo.edu
Take a moment and look down at your attire. Now take a moment and look out the nearest window. Guys, if you look down and see basketball shorts and look outside to see snow falling like your GPA, ask yourself one simple question- “who am I trying to impress?” This is a fashion phase that I thought I would see tire and die after high school, as it is both impractical and serves no social purpose.
There, of course, is the ever-prevalent excuse of “I had nothing else to wear.” Let’s have a quick conversation about the price of jeans or how to operate a standard washing machine, because there really is no excuse for wearing shorts when it is 10 degrees outside with winds that chill as if they were coming from the lungs of the ice queen herself.
Other popular arguments include the concept of comfortability- that beyond some superficial concept of style these shorts are more comfortable than jeans. That same utility is shared by the far more practical option of sweat pants. Sweats are just as comfortable and display your choice to give up on all things associated with effort just as well, while offering the practicality of warmth on a cold day. In fact, I applaud those who wear sweats rather than shorts to class because that person could not care less about the perception others have of them and simply wants to get through the daily rigors of university life comfortably. There is a limit to which I find this acceptable as well but that is a debate for another day.
Another question that should be asked is “what of athletes, specifically basketball players?” as if being an athlete in some way shields one from the cold. Athlete or not, if you are wearing shorts and/or open toed shoes such as flip flops on a day in which the temperature has fallen below Kobe Bryant’s points per game average, there is no qualifier that makes this reasonable.
My point is quite simply that any argument made for the utility of wearing shorts on a cold winter day is a delusion. Men wear shorts on cold days for the same reason women wear fur lined Ugg boots in the summer. Our culture has fallen so far down the rabbit hole of consumerism and superficiality that we will make compromises to our own health and well being for the sake of garnering a positive image. The point is not that some people look better in a pair of shorts than a pair of jeans, but that sacrificing your health for the sake of looking cool is a ridiculous concept that we have all succumb to at some point.
The same concept can be extended to women that wear skirts/dresses (or shorts) knowing that they must venture into the frozen hell-scape in which Laramie sits for a majority of the year. However for women I believe that this idea can be separated into two categories. For women that must dress professionally on a regular basis (an attire that often includes a skirt), the motivation is similar but different. For women that dress in a skirt as a part of professional customs, the motivation is still one of superficiality. The difference is that choosing not to dress well rather than face the cold can yield far larger repercussions in life than a cold or flu. Imagine a man arriving to a business meeting in a t-shirt rather than a suit and tie. A simple choice of attire can provide a significant cap on ones upward mobility within our competition based capitalist economy. Also, I am quite aware that women can wear pants in a professional setting just as men can, the difference truly can be chalked up to either comfortably or the demands of the setting in which this attire is required.
I am not saying that women should have to dress a particular way to get ahead, but simply that if there are standards of dress for members of either gender, adherence to which is linked directly to upward mobility then ignorance of weather becomes more acceptable.
However, for the women who dress in skirts, dresses and open toed shoes in the dead of winter for no other reason than the aesthetic value, you are placed in the same category as men in shorts.
I would like to quickly include that I understand and have myself fallen victim to the superficial pressure of our peers as everyone has. My intent is to illustrate how ridiculous the concept of sacrificing ones potential physical health for the sake of looking better to others.
So, as you rise and begin your preparation for the day I offer some simple advice.
For men; remember that when people see you wearing shorts on the most frozen of days, their first thought is not “man that guy sure is tough!” It is far more likely something like “what the hell is wrong with him.”
For women: While I am sure you look beautiful in a dress or skirt regardless of the season, no one looks good when they are sick. Let your sensibility add to your beauty in a way that only preventing frostbite and a perpetually runny nose can.
