There’s a lot to be said when you’re invited to eat lunch with an English baroness.
First, there’s disbelieve. Then, it’s shock. After that comes the question, “Can I?” in response to the first question. Finally, there’s a lot of “wows,” “oh my gosh,” and “thank you’s.” Then throughout the week, you have an internal freak-out if you will actually be able to make a coherent sentence.
This past Friday, I sat for lunch with Catherine “Cathy” Ashton, the former UK leader of the House of Lords and EU High Representative on foreign affairs. Along with a handful of graduate students in Global and Area studies, a few professors, three representatives from the Wyoming Legislature and the mayor of Laramie. We were able to ask questions and have a more in depth view of what it’s like to work in international relations.
Even before lunch began, I was freaking out. I had come up with a few questions beforehand and in my mind, I was questioning if they would be thought provoking. This was my first-time sitting in with such a key world leader and I was unsure of what to expect.
It was amazing. Even as I sit here writing this, I’m still in shock and awe of Ashton.
To me, she seemed so down to earth. She was polite as I asked her questions about how she was enjoying Laramie and where she hailed from in England. Maybe I came on a little too eager, but I just wanted to get to know her.
She spoke about her involvement in the Serbian-Kosovo and Iran Nuclear Deals, women in leadership, as well as lessons learned in these instances.
It was impressive to listen to her speak about how she got two prime ministers who had never met before to sit down and come to an agreement on how to end the conflict between there people. Over 180 hours of negations occurred and ended with a peaceful solution.
One of the things mention by her travel companion, Federica Bindi, the director of Women@IR, was that Ashton was being too modest. She spoke about how if the Serbian-Kosovo deal was to have a name, it should be called the Ashton agreement.
Ashton smiled and countered that it was the two Prime Ministers who had done all the work and she was just there to make sure negotiations didn’t go south.
On the topic of the Iran Nuclear Deal, Ashton said it was important to focus on the big picture. Everyone wanted something and to mold it into one singular agreement took four years.
Critiques said it could not be done but with Ashton’s leadership, she helped mold the plan.
Her words on female leadership were inspiring. Yes, it is okay to be the first female leader of the town, city or organization, but we must keep the momentum moving. We cannot be okay with having one female leader and then going back to all male leaders. Women must be involved, she said.
I was also able to ask a question about what had been some of the key lessons she had learned throughout her career.
The answer I found was not surprising but instead insightful for what may be asked of any young diplomat in the future.
Ashton spoke about how emotional judgement is important. She said not to be ruled by your emotions when negotiating. Instead, in order for negotiations to be successful, we should be able to look at it from a neutral perspective and have clarity about our future decisions.
She gave me a small smile after she finished and I mouthed my thanks. I have never felt so personally connect to a person whom I’ve never met.
Honestly, I think I blacked out then. As I look back on it, the whole lunch was such a blur. Speaking with a few of the students afterwards, we agreed that it was a rush to sit with someone of such great importance.
What I do remember is this: as she spoke, all I could think of was “man, I want to be like her.” I want to have her experience. I want to be just as modest and down to earth as her. Most of all, I want to accomplish something amazing like she has.
I floated on cloud nine for the rest of the day, and when I called my mom I got to fangirl just a little bit (more like a lot) as I spoke about my experience.
I am eternally grateful to Stephanie Anderson for inviting me to sit in. This is something I will remember for the rest of my life. Thank you to Cathy for coming to Laramie, and answering some of our burning questions. Thank you for sharing your experiences with an impressionable young woman.
