Sometimes, when I’m walking around campus or cruising through town in my “Partymobile” during the winter, as one does, I see something very peculiar. I am, of course, talking about those people that enjoy walking in the cold, blowing weather in shorts and sometimes even sandals.
Now, I know it’s not really my business when it comes to what other people wear, not even close, but I do have to say these kinds of people perplex me to my core. My first question is always, “Do you not feel this freezing weather with your lower half or are you just insane?”
I’ve come to suspect that they cannot, in fact, feel anything below the waist and must not feel the need to wear pants or even socks and shoes in some cases. They must have come to point where they just don’t feel the need to dress like normal person would, especially when simply stepping outside will cause ice to form on every inch of their confidently exposed skin and every second outside causes their legs to become a new, exciting shade of blue.
I pity them for when the day comes that it’s just a little too cold for their body to keep up and their legs become the human popsicles that they should have become a long time ago due to their dressing habits. When that day comes, perhaps they will change their minds about dressing in the way that they have and realize just how insane it is to wear shorts, yes shorts, when the water from the sky literally freezes before it reaches their frozen, popsicle legs.
Don’t even get me started on the people who wear sandals in this weather.
Oh wait, I’ve already begun. Now these sorts of people are the true champions of freezing their buns off. How they still have toes is a mystery to me. I’ve seen many an exposed foot during the winter in my years here at the University of Wyoming and I must say every time I’ve seen one it’s been a spectacular shade of purple or blue.
Sadly, I think these sandals-in-the-winter people are too far gone to save at this point. Let us have a moment of silence for their potential foot modeling careers after they lose some toes to the cold.
I honestly just want to say please, please dress warm, people. I know we’ve been getting some warm weather here and there, but we are at the University of Wyoming. Let me repeat, W Y O M I N G. Weather is never what it seems here. One day it could be 40 degrees and peachy and the next you could be in the Arctic.
Winter surely isn’t over, and you have got to be ready for it to freeze over again without notice. So please, for your sake and the sake of your already frozen popsicle legs, put some darn pants on and make your mamas proud.
