Over the decades, there has been a trend of decreasing marriage rates nationwide, with the national marriage rate for the US going from 17.9 per 1,000 women in 2008 to 16.6 in 2018, according to the US Census Bureau (US Census). However, with this, divorce rates have also gone down, with a national rate of 10.5 per 1,000 women in 2008 down to 7.7 in 2018 (US Census).
Though the rates above are the national data, each individual state has their own marriage and divorce rates, and looking at these numbers in comparison to the data on COVID-19 per state, a deeper analysis of how the current pandemic will affect families across America can be conducted.
As of March 30th, the global number of confirmed cases of COVID-19 is 693,244, with 33,106 deaths, according to the World Health Organization (WHO). The US has the highest number of cases with 140,904 confirmed cases and 2,405 deaths, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). These numbers are constantly changing as more people get tested.
While the individual states in the US have all faced different rates of infection, many have been hit hard by the impact of COVID-19 as a result of social distancing, job insecurity, school closures and possibly affecting marriages and divorce cases.
As a result of COVID-19, numerous marriages have had to be postponed. Courts and municipal buildings across the country have faced closures, and several states are banning large gatherings of people. Marriage licenses have also been suspended altogether in some states, and even if you are able to get them, they expire after 30 days (CNN). Nevada, which has the highest marriage rate in the United States, suspended all marriage activities for 30 days, as of March 18 (CDC and CNN).
In contrast, divorce rates have been increasing during this time, with large urban areas being hit especially hard (Haute Lawyer). Some couples, now having to live together 24/7 without the normal break-ups of work or school throughout the day, have struggled to cope (Haute Lawyer). Being stuck in close quarters, with higher outside stressors from fears over keeping jobs, switching jobs or school over to online, and fear of COVID-19 in general, can lead to an increase in the chance of fights. Being in constant contact and facing boredom from social isolation can also make it easy to get on loved one’s nerves.
As a result, some couples have decided to file for divorce, able to go through the proceedings in sparsely populated courts opened for essential cases. The meeting app, Zoom, has also been a means for divorcing couples to contact divorce lawyers and complete their cases (Scroggins Law Group).
Unlike previous trends, with marriage rates and divorce rates both going down over the years, this period of time is seeing a drop in marriages with a spike of divorces.
Despite the stressors, there are ways to manage relationship conflicts in a healthy way. Perhaps the most important thing to do is communicate with your partner, openly and honestly. Respect each other’s work environment and schedules by staying quiet around their office or while they are in a call, warn each other before a call, especially if it is a video call, ask if they are busy before starting up a conversation and even turn down the volume (or turn sound off completely) on phone or computer notifications (Psychology Today).
It may also be important to plan time apart. As much as many people love and enjoy the company of their partners and family members, constant contact can cause a strain on patience. Make time to step outside alone for even just a few minutes, go on a walk if able, plan to read a book in a quiet place alone or anything that creates happiness while giving everyone a moment to breathe.
While it may be necessary to plan alone time, it can also be important to plan in-house dates with partners every once and a while as a means to unwind.
Take breaks from the slog of news. It is important to stay updated, but a constant barrage of news may not be healthy for the person and their relationships. Extra stress can shorten the fuse and lead to more conflicts, so it may be good to remember to take a break.
When an argument does happen though, remember to take a breath and walk away from each other when needed. Something said in anger can cause serious damage, so take measures to resolve issues calmly and patiently. It may be even more important to make sure these conflicts, even if they seem small, get resolved. Going to bed angry at a partner, or with them angry, can have negative consequences.
Be willing to make compromises and divide up responsibilities. Do not let everything fall to one person or the other, especially if there are kids that now have to be taught at home. This will keep resentment from building over all the changes being made.
The COVID-19 pandemic is unlike anything that has been seen in modern times. Many have had to make sacrifices and massive lifestyle changes. However, steps can be taken to manage stress and keep both personal relationships and the community strong.
