It’s the time of year where optimism strikes anew and we redesign our lives to be the most productive, healthy, and happy we have ever been to check off our resolutions. We plan to workout, read, lose weight, quit smoking, spend less money, or pick up a new hobby. The start of the new year inspires us to start our “new” lives, yet research has shown 80% of us who make New Year’s resolutions fail by Valentine’s day.
I too have already failed at my New Year’s resolutions so I wanted to investigate why mine were so easily broken and what I can do to set goals that I can achieve.
First, I found you must set meaningful goals, not just easy wins. As humans, we love rewards. It feels really good to set a goal and people often set them just for the burst of empowerment they get when they vow to make a change. But, if our New Year’s resolutions are just about checking off a box, no wonder why we abandon them so quickly.
We aren’t driven to do things that we don’t think will contribute meaningfully to the rest of our lives. Ask yourself what you want and why, and continue reinforcing why this goal is important to you.
This technique drives home why your goal matters and can be used as motivation as you work towards your goal.
Second, make a conscious effort to frame your goals positively.
Instead of focusing on what you want to avoid, focus on what you want to bring into your life. Avoidance will trigger reluctance, whereas positive goals will trigger reward and motivation. Telling yourself “I’m fat” after eating a box of chocolates, for example, is not motivating and gives you no positive reinforcement. Instead, celebrate the little wins, like eating a healthy lunch.
Finally, have a plan for handling setbacks. Moments of failure are inevitable, however at these points of discouragement we don’t have to give up completely.
Instead, when you find yourself slacking, acknowledge your feelings and determine your best weapon against distraction. Ask yourself, “how likely am I to fail?” and take action. Stop carrying cigarettes in your purse or carry healthy snacks if you have a tendency to splurge on fast food when you’re hungry. Keep these mental plans in handy for how you’ll react when something trips you up.
When detours and roadblocks come up, remind yourself why your goals matter to you. There’s so much opportunity stretched out in front of us: opportunities to finally live up to our full potential at work, to make that extra effort at home, to repair bonds with family and friends and to make time for ourselves.
These techniques will lull you away from putting off changing subpar situations–like carrying an extra 50 pounds of weight, or being unsatisfied with your job–any longer. Set your sights on “good” and “great” rather than “okay” and “fine”.
Those simple daily reminders about why our goals are important sustains your motivation and keeps you headed in the right direction. Who knows, maybe you will make it past Valentine’s day this year!
