After suffering a stroke event on July 11, 2007, Darleen Regina Hansen arrived in Laramie planning to live out the rest of her days.
“I came here on a vacation, and I said this is a place I want to die. I was very, very sick. I was unable to sing, I mean I lost all my repertoire of words, how to play the bass… the Darleen that I knew died that day.”
After the passing of her first husband and moving from St. Petersburg, Florida in 1994, Darleen became thrilled by the idea of a cowboy and a ranch. Her second husband, a University of Wyoming alumnus, introduced her to the state and the western lifestyle she craved.
Prior to the stroke, Darleen held many accomplishments. In 1977, Darleen graduated with her master’s in mathematics. Soon after, she began teaching at primary schools, but admitted it wasn’t her dream. She wanted something bigger. She quit her job, and was commissioned into the Navy.
Darleen became an officer, and maintained her love for music throughout this time in her life. She was a professional musician, who sang and played the bass. Her love for music coincided with her love for continued education.
On five separate occasions, Darleen pursued a PhD. She explained this was her dream, but that she never received the support she needed to see it through.
“My father called me stupid. With a master’s degree, an officer in the Navy, a professional singer… I was still stupid. I guess that was okay then. So it kind of threw my confidence. It just seems like in my family, what I pursued didn’t have value.”
After years of recovery following the stroke event in 2007, Darleen’s perspective shifted when her sister came to visit in Fall of 2021.
“I just didn’t meet up to her standards. And then I realized I don’t want to meet up to those standards because my values are totally different,” she said. “I needed to be true to me.”
Just last year, Darleen was in a wheelchair, and admitted to hating her life. But something shifted following that conversation, she said. Change was beginning to take hold of her life.
“I had to start thinking about what is it that I want. Because I’ve always been a person that believed in helping people pursue their dreams. But mine was never on the table.”
Given her initials, Darleen said she has always been D.R. Hansen. Now, at 70, she is on her sixth attempt to make the title official and pursue her greatest goal.
“I picked my middle name after my grandmother when I was 13, so I had decided the universe had planted that seed way back when.”
Darleen is currently enrolled at UW and taking classes she enjoys like choir and art. By returning to school, she is inspired to help others receive the same opportunity. She is in the early stages of creating her program, Phd4Me!, which is designed to help individuals facing hardship get back to school and find their passions in doing so.
In addition to beginning Phd4Me!, she is working on her book that she dubbed her “ME-ography”, which is an account of her life both “then and now”. Writing, she says, is a major step in self-discovery. Specifically, writing down goals.
“The reason why you need to write down is because it’s easy to talk. But when you start putting your hand to the paper and put a pen in it, you’re making a commitment. Some people don’t like to make commitments.”
“And this is the hard part: not what your mom wants, not what your dad wants, not what your siblings want, or your friends want. What is it that you want?”
Darleen said she would encourage all young people to begin asking themselves this question and pursue it now, rather than when they’re 70.
To Darleen, the most important part of a goal is the process. She believes being true to yourself is key to knowing what you want. For Darleen, it’s not only about standing on the stage to receive her PhD, but more so the experiences and people that she encountered along the way. Darleen believes in the importance of cherishing the journey and finding joy in it.
“Everyday, every moment, every experience. We should live it like it’s the first day of our life or the last day.”
After many years of wanting a cowboy, Darleen says she herself turned into a Cowgirl, and has the western-inspired hats to prove it. She says her home, with countless meaningful pictures, pieces, and signs, is her ranch. According to Darleen, she has found the love for herself and passion for her life she always wanted.
“My goal was to be loved. But I missed the most important thing of all. I didn’t love me.”
