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Last week, I sent out a text to my closest friends: “Warning: For the next 24 hours, you will not be able to contact me. I’m reading ‘Fifty Shades of Grey.’”
Before reading it, I was puzzled as to why this book had become such a rave among women. Once I got to the second chapter, my question had been answered.
Readers, non-readers, women and even men (yes gents, I saw you reading this naughty novel in Prexy’s Pasture too) have been frenzied by this erotic novel, which has been described as “taboo” based on the descriptive sexual content. Some find it enjoyable, while others find it degrading. It is up to you to sip and decide if it is your cup of tea.
While there is much controversy about the novel and its sexual content, this literary liberation is much needed among our generation. It is opening discussion and dialogue about sex.
College students are talking about sex, and in the case of this column reading about it. This novel is so great for college student readers, as it encourages us to ask “taboo” questions about sex.
Although the taboo sex scenes in the book are intense and shocking, they provide commanding insight to creating your own great sex life.
Rachel Braun Scherl, president of Semprae Laboratories, (the manufacturer of Zestra), explains, “There are a number of factors that will lower a women’s libido, desire, arousal or satisfaction, many of which are not age-specific. These include side effects from medications including oral birth control and anti-depressants; hormonal changes due to post pregnancy or menopause; the physiological and emotional impact of cancer treatment; realities and side effects of medications for a number of medical conditions including diabetes, obesity and MS; and the all-encompassing stress.”
The novel simply encourages readers to further explore their sexuality with their partner and enables them to create more freedom to explore new things sexually and emotionally.
The one lesson I hope every reader takes away from the novel is the importance of communication during sex.
Communication during sex is naturally thought of to be stiff and awkward. However, the novel proves those views to be a thing of the past.
There isn’t one right way to communicate during sex and it’s imperative that you remember this before you get the ball rolling in the future. Everyone communicates in different ways.
The one thing to keep in mind is to be certain that your communication style is in sync with your partner. You and your partner need to recognize the signals you are sending and receiving during sexual encounters and be certain that your partner is sending those same messages. While this is imperative to a great and healthy sex life, you must be sure these messages you are sending and receiving are intentional.
When you and your partner have become accustomed to this extremely engaged back-and-forth interaction, it becomes obvious when either of you is uncomfortable or not thoroughly enjoying the experience. I dare you to entangle in a descriptive and engaging sexual experience. It’s one thing to do something to someone to turn you on, but it will turn you on even more if you know that they wanted it. If that isn’t sexy, I don’t know what is.
While the sex scenes in the novel are tremendously arresting, they lack something even more important than communication. The ultimate goal for a great sex life is to strive for a relationship that isn’t based on “Can I do sex to you?” but rather “Let’s do sex together.”
Without mutual consent, BDSM is considered sexual assault
