Dear Emily,
I am about to embark on my senior year at UW and I hope for it to be a great year. But since I have transferred to the school, I have kept to myself so I don’t really have any friends. I am really quiet and I feel awkward in social situations; I just usually don’t know what to say to people. I am always afraid of not being liked so I tend to hide parts of myself from other people, which makes getting to know me very hard. I am feeling really lonely, but I am just not sure how to deal with my problem. I think if I could figure out how to get beyond my lack of social skills and make some friends, I could have a great last year at UW. Do you have any advice for a quieter person like me to push beyond self-doubt and make friends on campus?
-Antisocial
Dear Antisocial,
I think we all have a little bit of self-doubt. I know I do and I’m a socialite. The first time I’m in a group situation I tend to sit back for the first hour or so and listen to the conversation to see who I might identify with. If you are looking for a new group of friends, I recommend shopping around and joining one of the many RSOs we have on campus. People have already put themselves in neat little identifiable categories like sections in a grocery store. You can find out more information by talking to the Campus Activities Center Union Room 012. As far as the self-doubt goes, ask yourself where it comes from. Why do you doubt yourself? What are you so afraid of? What is the absolute worst that could happen? The worst is that people don’t like you, and if they don’t like you, do you really want to be spending time with them? With a campus of more than 9,000 students, I am sure you can find a few who will like you. Don’t place self-value on what others think because at the end of the day your opinion is the only one that matters.
Dear Emily,
I’m almost done with my degree but life has been pretty rough lately and I’m thinking about dropping out for a while. What should I do?
-Drop Out
Dear Drop Out,
Of all the questions I’ve had, yours is the most difficult for me to answer. I am extremely competitive and I never quit. I want to tell you not to quit too. I want to tell you, you are so close and you should cross that finish line. However, I really think you should do what’s best for you. If your grades are going to suffer and lower your chance of continuing your education, then it might be best for you to take a break. It sounds like you need to take some time for yourself and refocus. Maybe now that you’re going through so much, some things don’t seem as important. This is a very important distinction to make. You are more important than a piece of paper. Do what you need to do to be the best you can be do the best you can. If that means dropping out, then I suggest it, but if you do drop out, set a deadline for yourself to return to school in a realistic time frame. It could be a semester or a year, only you can make that judgment as time progresses.
