There are very few things in life that I find truly funny about the human race. Yet every time I set foot in Half Acre, the “bros” who choose to work out there amuse me. To anyone who has ever worked out at Half Acre, bros at the gym are nothing new. For those who have never seen “the bro” in his natural habitat, I will give you a quick debriefing.
Bros tend to travel in packs of 3-5. They are never seen on cardio machines, only in the weight area. An individual bro can be identified because he is always surrounded by his other bros while he is lifting.
Bros can never lift simultaneously because they need a cheering section of 2-4 other bros at all times. To start their routine, bros can be seen parading around the gym, shaking out their muscles from the intense work out from the day before. Bros then like to stand in front of the mirrors and admire their own, as well as each other’s, muscles by flexing, making badass faces, and generally, basking in the Muscle Milk fueled glory of their bro-ness.
Despite the perceived lack of actual weight lifting, bros seems to monopolize the weight equipment for a rather long time. And, unfortunately for those of us attempting to get in a few repetitions, due to the bros to equipment ratio, it is impossible to hop in and lift anything while they are around.
Those of you who have never seen a bro can now understand why bros at the gym are typically the highlight of my day. I often wonder why they choose to get up at the crack of dawn, gel their hair, and go to the gym, only to stand there and admire themselves.
In my mind, this is something that does not require a gym setting, but I guess, because I am not a bro, I will never understand. While bros amuse, they also frustrate me. I do not appreciate equipment hogs, people who crowd where crowding is not necessary, and guys who act way more macho than they actually are.
However, like Skater Guy and the Evangelist, bros at the gym are just a part of the UW experience, and should be appreciated for what they are, a fun distraction for those of us who are actually exercising.
