Pharrell Williams performs with Thomas Bangalter, background left, and Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo of Daft Punk, at the 56th annual Grammy Awards at Staples Center on Sunday, in Los Angeles.
Ah, the Grammys, that time of year when all of the top name acts in music come together for awkward duets, useless stage performances, and a chance to indeed prove they have little to no range. Oh, yeah and they also hand out these little trophy things honoring the best of music that year. I don’t remember, I was distracted by Pink tumbling through the sky on drapes.
That right there pretty much sums up the Grammys this year: Just like all other years, the producers felt it was best to bombard audiences with performances of songs they’ve heard 1,000 times, and after every 5 performances or so they give out a random award.
Some people may defend the Grammys and say, “Well it’s to honor musicians so it makes sense to have a lot of performances.” Well, no, it’s an award show that should be designed to give notice, and exposure, to acts of the mainstream and underground alike.
What was worse than the fact that it was a throat-stuffing night of mediocre performances was that it was like the producers were trying to take a page from The Avengers initiative and have the artists come together for mismatched duets. Really, Gary Clark Jr., a blues musician with the guitar skills of Jimi Hendrix and the awkward string hammering of Keith Urban? Sounded like a child banging two rubber chickens together.
By the end of the night, there were close to some 20 performances and around 5-8 awards given out and I can only remember one of three acts going up there each time: Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, Lorde or Daft Punk. You wouldn’t imagine they have an insane number of categories honoring many different fields, filled with many talented and underrated artists. But no, let’s film giving out the awards that involve Katy Perry or Taylor Swift. The rest will get theirs in the mail.
I won’t get into who deserved what awards, because what’s done is done, but it seems the Grammys are one step away from being the VMAs, who just let the fans vote. They seem to give their awards to whoever is the most popular at the time. Really, Nine Inch Nails loses Alternative Album to Vampire Weekend (who?), and Queens of the Stone Age losing Rock Album to Imagine Dragons (oh, those guys who had that one song at that one point).
Despite a few good acts like Sarah Bareilles and Carol King, or Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr, or a surprisingly June Carter-esqe performance by Kacey Musgraves (and let’s not forget Black Sabbath introducing Ringo Starr and seeming totally high) the Grammys embodied the state of music today: All flash and randomness, no respect for the form.
Sure, Pink’s songs have lyrics and melodies, but because she spends so much time performing faux Cirque De Solei garbage you don’t even focus on them (not to mention her screaming match of a duet with Nate Russ of Fun, who has a mustache that makes him look like a guy you do not want at your child’s birthday party). Same with Katy Perry, whose songs are all so similar all she has to work with is, “Look at how odd I am! And look, I have boobs! Look at my boobs!” They throw an inordinate amount of production value at the audience to distract from the fact that the music and vocals are uninspired and forgettable. And was I the only one who thought Taylor Swift was head-banging with her piano so hard it looked like she was trying to seduce it and make it her future ex-boyfriend?
Just like a lot of the nominated music itself, this year’s Grammys had a few interesting acts but was mostly just a vapid waste of production values. There were also some awards given out, but it seems everyone involved had finally realized winning a Grammy is about as meaningful as finding a penny on the street: The odds of you getting one is highly likely, and it probably got there because someone just threw one of theirs on the ground.
