From ugly Christmas sweaters to snowflakes that just won’t conform, this year’s winter Olympics are off to a slightly hilarious start.
Our Olympic athletes have gone from being adorned in white pants (always white pants) and American flag, blue parka style jackets to what appears to be an attempt at a stylish rendition of an ugly Christmas sweater. Patchwork-style sweaters that show off the Olympic rings and U. S. symbols and motifs, paired with white pants (always white pants) and heavy black boots, topped off with the unforgettable wool hat that completes the lets-go-over-the-river-and-through-the-woods-to… An ugly Christmas sweater party? That’s the U.S. uniform this year.
Another hilarity that is swarming the inter-webs is U.S. bobsledder Johnny Quinn and his knack with getting stuck. His first debacle was with a door in an Olympian Village bathroom. The door somehow got jammed or locked while he showered, and in his attempt to be heard from within, he cracked the door. Logic says, you’re an Olympian athlete. Break that thing down! Hence the now viral images of the athlete photo shopped behind the door with the man sized hole in it. Pieces of the once functional door scatter the floor beneath, a picture to keep? Definitely.
Quinn’s mishaps don’t stop there though. On Monday, he was stuck once more. This time in an elevator. Fortunately, he wasn’t naked and alone this time. Unfortunately, I don’t think his Olympian strength was enough to bust a hole through this one. Either way, I bet fellow bobsledder Nick Cunningham was glad that Quinn was the one he was stuck with.
In a more serious take, Russian leaders are being mocked for a variety of reasons this Olympic season. First off, their opening ceremony. Someone commented that it was ‘a giddy, publicity-generating ace: the presence of President Putin’s rumored girlfriend…’ rumored be a former rhythmic gymnast and Olympic gold medalist, and possibly the mother of his children? And of course we can’t leave out the snowflake that couldn’t. I’m sure that whoever responsible for that said snowflake is currently en route, no return ticket, to the gulags.
If you are confused by that last paragraph, don’t worry I am too. And if you aren’t confused, feel free to fill us all in.
Next, the hubbub over the laws against gays. Russian leaders said, “Gays can consider themselves safe at the Sochi Olympics as long as they stay away from the children.” This is a quote of Dmitry Kozak, the Russian Deputy Prime Minister overseeing the Olympics, when asked if the gay athletes would be under threat because of the Russian laws prohibiting “propaganda of non-traditional sexual relations.” Before you toss the blame to Kozak, take into consideration that he got his lines from his boss, President Vladmir Putin, who can be quoted saying, “Please do not touch the kids, this is prohibited by law.”
Apparently Vladmir is under the impression that homosexuality equals pedophilia. No matter how you paraphrase his words that sentence is offensive to many Americans. While this statement is highly offensive, it is also humorous that after enforcing all the laws against gay people, he simply states that he wishes for the gay athletes to stay away from the kids. Really? That sentiment shows how uneducated the Russian leader is. I find it rather comical that that is what he sincerely wants from gay people who are in Sochi for the Olympics. Talk about a lack of class and professionalism, which should probably be higher on his totem poll of priorities due to the fact that he is president.
Just a couple days in and the events surrounding the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia are already off to a wonderfully comical start. Let’s all put our heads together and hope that the children stay untouched, the president finds his class, and Johnny Quinn avoids small locking spaces, or that he at least maintains his superhuman ability to bust through Russian hotel doors.
