Standing ovation for NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell.
It took some severe kind of stupidity for Goodell to screw up his apology for going too soft on Ravens Running Back Ray Rice, which ended up increasing the punishment for domestic violence charges. In a recent memo from Fidel-like Goddell, he outlined his plan “effective immediately”—where after one recorded case of domestic violence or sexual harassment, the player is suspended for six games. This is considered the new standard. Six games is more than one third of the schedule and this includes no pay. After the second recorded case of domestic violence and sexual harassment, BANISHED. OUT OF THE LEAGUE! Woah, Fidel with the redux version of Hammertime! Just a few questions Roger….
1.) The NFL Players Association (NFLPA) signed off on this?
Nope. No way. You guys had a hard enough time getting revenue sharing done four years ago in the Collective Bargaining Agreement. Now you’re dealing with a situation where players are forced out after two recorded situations of domestic violence. Also, if a player enters the league with a recorded case of domestic violence or sexual harassment, that counts against him. But he is not suspended out of the gate for six games. Wait, no, I’m confused too. DeMaurice Smith, NFLPA Executive Director and Roger Goodell’s counter-part, has to be spitting up his water at home and writing a response letter to Goodell that I imagine goes something like this:
“Hey @$%& Goodell,
YOU REALLY THINK I’M THIS STUPID? You can find me burning headshots of you in your front yard.
2.) Did you consider the amount of blackmail that other people can have over NFL Players?
I know this is hard for your pea-sized brain Goodell but believe it or not, there are greedy people in this world, including you. According to most state laws, if a domestic violence call is made, the police officer has to – without question – arrest one of the parties. Well there’s strike one, apparently. What’s to stop a person spending a romantic evening with an NFL player and say at the end of the night “Hey I’m calling the cops unless you fork over some cash”? Wow and you want to guess what happens when they don’t pay? You’re right! You just suspended them for six games and even possibly for life! What a proud image you’re sending to the public. Kicking players out for meeting up with the wrong person at the wrong time.
3.) How many more apology letters can I expect in the future from now on?
Because I don’t have a lot of time to read whatever crud spews from your mouth. After a player is suspended, or even banned, and the charges are eventually dropped like most domestic violence cases, what will happen Goodell? Oh, well, you’ll just look silly won’t you? I imagine the PR staff has a template letter written up already. “Dear (insert poor sap’s name), on behalf of the league and my stupid dictator policy I would like to apologize for banning you from your profession and gladly wish to reinstate you. Only to suspend you for another year after I catch you smoking dope. Yours forever, Roger” Am I in the ballpark? Feel free to use that if need be.
In no way do I condone domestic violence nor do I want anyone to think I am belittling a serious problem we face today. I do think Goodell made a huge error only suspending Rice for two games after all of America watched the All-Pro running back pull his wife’s unconscious body out of an Atlantic City elevator. That deserved four games, at the least, along with a hefty fine. But all Goodell had to do was write a letter saying “I messed up with Ray Rice and in the future domestic violence will be looked upon more seriously. In the meantime the league will be donating money to victims of domestic violence and sexual harassment funds. Thank you.” Roger, I just schooled you in public relations. My statement puts not only the public on my side, but now players do not hate me even more.
Bravo Commissioner Goodell. Bravo.
